The University Of Catastrophe: Orientation

“There are many different majors at The University of Catastrophe, but they all have two things in common. No one signs up for classes on purpose and all courses of study suck. During orientation at a normal university, you're given an overview of what to expect. Orientation at The University of Catastrophe is nothing like that. There is no overview, or newcomer's information packet. You just suddenly find yourself enrolled with a major you didn't chose. You look around at your classmates and wonder, "How did I end up here?"
                — From Life Music: Lessons Learned at The University of Catastrophe
© By Marie Smith

How did I end up here? Sometimes I still ask myself that question. On April 14th 1998 I was an ordinary wife and mother. The next morning I woke up and I couldn't see. I had blurry double vision and I couldn't control the way my eyes moved. That morning I woke up a student at The University of Catastrophe.

Without my consent I was assigned a major in myasthenia gravis, a minor in thymoma cancer and a second major in Type 1 diabetes. I didn't sign up for any of this. I am not brave enough, clever enough, smart enough, or in any way equipped to deal with these problems. They came out of no where.

I have had to adapt. I had no other choice. This is my story about some of the classes I've taken at the University of Catastrophe and a few of the lessons I have learned along the way.

Freshman   Sophomore   Junior   Senior   Post-Graduate

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I am not a doctor. I do not have a medical degree. Nothing on this site qualifies as medical advice. These are lessons I'm learning at the University of Catastrophe. What I find to be correct answers in my classes may not be the right answers for you.

If you are enrolled with your own major at the University of Catastrophe, please consult your doctor, therapist, attorney, auto mechanic, veterinarian, plumber, dietician, arborist, acupuncturist, manicurist, mother, local dairy council, shoe shine boy, or other equally qualified professional, for advice and assistance.

If you email me your personal information will not be shared without your permission and your email address will not be sold. I hate spam. Even with eggs.

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