Sunday, November 17, 2013

Are My Kittens Trying To Kill Me?

Sometimes when I get a high blood sugar, I know exactly went wrong. I ate more carbs than I expected. Or, I planned on giving myself an insulin bolus after a meal, and totally forgot about it. When this happens, I correct and move on.

Other times, a high BG comes as a total surprise. These high blood sugars take a little detective work to figure out. Is the insulin in my pump bad? Is my set faulty? Did I get my pump tubing twisted on a door knob and yank out my set... again?

Recently I had an experience like that. I woke up to a shrieking Dexcom. I tested and my blood sugar was 303. What the Fructose? I didn't even have a snack. I reached down to check my pump tubing and found it was split completely in half.

That did not happen when I rolled over on my pump tubing. This was no accident. While I was sleeping someone soft, fuzzy, and cuddly deliberately chewed through my insulin pump tubing. I have a paranoid feeling that my kittens are trying to kill me.

Let's have a look at our two suspects.

Was it dear little Sunshine? Look at her innocent little face. She is gentle and sweet. Would she eat through an insulin pump tube? Is this the face of an attempted murderer?

Or was it Fresh Air? He's as sweet as a gumdrop dipped in honey and rolled in powdered sugar. Aw, look at him. He's chewing on a little rag toy. Would Fresh Air try to kill me?

The answer is, yes. Yes, they are trying to kill me. My kittens have discovered I keep my insulin pump in my pocket. Every chance they get, Fresh Air and Sunshine dig at my pocket to get at my pump tubing. When I'm awake I redirect them to something appropriate to play with. There's nothing I can do when I am asleep.

Right before I fall asleep, the two of them conspire. They speak out their plans in whisper soft purrs. I used to think purring was a sign of contentment, but now I think that rhythmic sound is designed to induce sleep in their human prey. Purr. Purr. Go to sleep. All is well. Go to sleep. I'm not trying to kill you. Relax. That's it. Good Marie. Now, let's eat her insulin pump tubing! Duo Kitten Tag Team Activate!

Tonight I'm going to curl my excess tubing into a coil and tape it to my body with Flexifix. If anyone has any other suggestions on how to kitten proof an insulin pump, can you let me know? Thanks.

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