Monday, April 29, 2013

Stressful Realities

We are facing stressful realities at our house. A week ago my husband Steve's mother fell and broke her arm. The fall also broke her rib. Ruth has a pulmonary embolism and congestive heart failure. Ruth is 91.

She took a turn for the worse last Thursday a few hours after Steve talked to her on the phone. Steve's older brother Jay lives in Virgina, so he hurried down to Florida. We have been talking to Jay on the phone every few hours since Friday.

Since she fell, Ruth has been in the hospital. A C-pap machine helped her breathe, but it made her miserable and she kept trying to take it off. Over the weekend Steve, Jay, and Ruth made decisions about what to do next. It was decided Ruth would go back to the retirement community where she lives and begin hospice care in the nursing home. Ruth isn't taking any more medications, and the dreaded C-Pap machine is gone. A few hours ago an ambulance arrived to take Ruth to the nursing home. I am waiting for Jay to call me with more information once they arrive.

Steve and I are planning on driving from Illinois to Florida in a few days to give Steve a chance to say goodbye to his mom in person. At the same time we are also waiting for the call. The one that starts with, "I'm sorry," and ends with my husband in tears. We have no way of knowing if we will be traveling for a last goodbye moment, or a memorial service. All we know is we're going to Florida soon. I'm doing my best to support Steve as he goes through this. It's been stressful.

I'm sad for Steve and his brother Jay. I'm also sad because my relationship with Ruth was complicated and I wish it wasn't. Now it will never be what I wish it could have been. This is a difficult time for all of us, but especially for Steve. I can't take Steve's pain away, but I can be with him and love him in it.

I won't be online much in the next few days. There is no internet access at the nursing home in Florida. It's so isolated there isn't cell service, either. Should I get a moment to go online, I'll update my blog then. Thanks for reading along. Your support means a lot to me.


  1. I'm incredibly sorry to read this. I'll be thinking of and praying for all of you. Lots of love to you, my friend. (((HUGS)))

  2. Very sorry to hear your family is facing such sorrow.

    Thinking of you and wishing you a safe journey.

  3. Sorry about all this happening to you and yours, HUGS!

  4. My goodness! My heart is breaking just reading this. At 91, it sounds like she lived a long, full life, but the abruptness of the situation doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I wish you and Steve lots of strength to get through this, and wish Ruth lots of comfort. I'm so sorry...



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