Monday, April 1, 2013

Changing How I Think About Change

Over the weekend I watched, with growing envy, people riding bicycles. I live a block away from The Illinois Prairie Path. Bikes zip past my house on the way to the trail. It's slowly sinking in that MG isn't going to relent and let me ride my old bike anymore. It's a change I don't want to make, but I have to make it.

How I make that change matters. I can make that change in ways that destroy my inner peace. I can cling to my bike and refuse to let it go. I can steep myself in bitterness, dwelling on how I feel cheated. I can throw tantrums. I can lay guilt trips on my husband and daughter because they can still ride their bikes.

Or...

Or I can grieve this loss. I can acknowledge how much it hurts to be left out. I can pass through those sad feelings and not cling to them. I have to adjust to this change. I can do it in ways that enhance my life or in ways that tear it down.

I'm choosing to build myself back up. Grieve the loss and let it go. Meanwhile I'll save my money and maybe next year I'll get myself a power assisted bike. Like this one: http://www.nycewheels.com/currie-izip-path-electric-bike.html

Adaptability trumps disability. It has been my creed for 15 years and it is still true. Adding an electric assist would allow me to ride without fear of wearing my muscles out and getting stranded a mile from home. When I get too tired to pedal, I can coast. An adapted bike for an adaptable person who is changing how she thinks about change.

2 comments:

  1. In my experience, grieving is a very important part of dealing with chronic illness. You can't rush it. You just have to acknowledge it and work through it.

    Glad to hear you're feeling more positive today. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Electric assist! Now there's an idea!

    ReplyDelete

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