Thursday, April 5, 2012
WEGO Health Activist Writer's Challenge Month - Day 5
I'm participating in the WEGO Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge. Today’s topic: Ekphrasis Post. Go to flickr.com/explore and write a post inspired by the image.
I chose this picture of a record.
Trying to deal with both myasthenia gravis and diabetes requires me to stay in a very narrow groove. Moment by moment I'm checking how I'm feeling. Am I fatigued? Am I low? Am I high? Can I walk over there? Can I pick this up? Can I eat this? How many carbs are in... 106 grams? Yow! Put that back on the shelf. All day long I am asking myself questions no one else asks. Including, what if I bolus insulin and suddenly can't swallow in the middle of eating, what to I do? A swallowing disorder while using insulin is no fun at all. This delicate balancing act requires me to focus in order to stay in the groove.
I don't always groove as well as I would like. Sometimes I get stuck in a rut. Sometimes I get tired of going around in endless chemotherapy circles. MG and diabetes spin me around inside and it takes an emotional toll. This week on #DSMA we talked about acceptance and I suddenly felt overcome with sadness. Coping with MG and diabetes at the same time is hard to accept. I asked for support from the DOC and got it. That helped me groove.
I groove with these illnesses as best as I can. I groove by listening to music. I groove by doing what I have to do: testing blood sugar, taking chemotherapy, resting my muscles, using insulin, exercising when my body lets me. I groove by tuning into the radio station WMARIE and quietly hearing what my heart has to say. I groove by letting tears fall sometimes. Myasthenia gravis and diabetes combined are a crying shame. So, that must mean it is OK to cry sometimes. I groove by looking for the absurd and laughing when I can.
This year I discovered blogging helps me groove. Knowing you're reading this right now helps me groove. Thanks for reading along. It matters more than I can say.
This post was written from a blog prompt for April 4th from The Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge at WEGO Health.