Thursday, December 22, 2011

My MG Is Not A Car

What would you say if I told you, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t cook dinner because the potato peeler was too heavy.” Or, “I didn’t wash the dishes because I couldn’t hold the sponge.” Would you believe me, or think I was lying?

I have myasthenia gravis. Ordinary household objects like can openers, mops, and bottles of laundry soap can be hard for me to use. More than once I have had to stop peeling potatoes because the peeler felt too heavy.

Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? How can a potato peeler feel heavy?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Life Lessons

When I was in school some of my lessons seemed impossible to understand. Like this: 

At first glance what to do eluded me. OK, what to do eluded me at my 439th glance, too. The more I evaluated the problem the less sense it made. What is this? What does it mean? How do I make this work? What am I supposed to do now? 

As challenging as some lessons were, school taught me to think logically. I learned math in a systematic progression from arithmetic to algebra, geometry, trigonometry, and calculus. In elementary school I learned how to construct a simple sentence: subject verb. Then I learned about adjectives, prepositions, and subordinate clauses. I performed Twinkle Twinkle on my cello long before performing the Haydn C Major Cello Concerto. School taught me to expect order and sequence and flow — simple → challenging → difficult. Life lessons have taught me meaningless and flow sequence is order how.

Life lessons have taught me this instead:


I am not a doctor. I do not have a medical degree. Nothing on this site qualifies as medical advice. These are lessons I'm learning at the University of Catastrophe. What I find to be correct answers in my classes may not be the right answers for you.

If you are enrolled with your own major at the University of Catastrophe, please consult your doctor, therapist, attorney, auto mechanic, veterinarian, plumber, dietician, arborist, acupuncturist, manicurist, mother, local dairy council, shoe shine boy, or other equally qualified professional, for advice and assistance.

If you email me your personal information will not be shared without your permission and your email address will not be sold. I hate spam. Even with eggs.

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